


If You're Feeling Patient

by SkylarEQuinn



Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25744183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkylarEQuinn/pseuds/SkylarEQuinn
Summary: When Yosuke Hanamura's wife dies, he calls up his best friend Souji Seta. Terrified of raising two daughters on his own when he doesn't know the first thing about girls, he looks to Souji for guidance, considering his experience with Nanako all those years ago. Yosuke wants to be able to give his daughters a normal life, but given the circumstances, what even is normal anymore?
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji, Kuma | Teddie & Shirogane Naoto
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	1. Prologue

Souji Seta stirred in his sleep one night as his phone went off in the middle of the night. Who in their right mind would be calling someone this late? He fumbled around for his cell phone, trying to keep his eyes open long enough to check the Caller ID. His hand finally grasped the phone tightly as he brought it up to his eyes to check who was calling. Yosuke Hanamura. If he was calling, that could only mean one thing.

“Yosuke?” he sleepily asked, fighting the urge to drift back off to sleep. “Is everything okay? You’re calling pretty late. What’s going on?”

“She’s gone, Partner…” Yosuke’s voice choked out on the other end. It was obvious that he was sobbing as he spoke. “I just….I don’t know what to do. It’s just me and the kids, and I just….”

He bolted upright, suddenly wide awake. “Gone?” he asked. Everything suddenly clicked in his mind. A month back, Yosuke had called him and told him about how his wife was in the hospital. Yosuke had said that she was receiving treatment, but the weight of his best friend’s words suddenly hit him hard. “No,” Souji quietly said, realizing exactly what “gone” meant. “Yosuke, talk to me. Are you okay?”

“She was everything, man,” his best friend whimpered. “What am I going to do now? I can’t raise these two girls by myself. I don’t know the first thing about girls. They’re going to grow up hating me, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. Ami always knew what to do with them, but I don’t know what to do. How will I tell them, Partner?” Yosuke’s voice cracked as another sob escaped. “How am I going to tell my daughters that they’re mom is…?” He couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence, and there was no way Souji was going to make him.

“I’m on my way,” the silvery-haired man simply replied, throwing his blankets off of him and standing up. He checked the time. It was one o’clock in the morning. “I’ll be there by dawn, Yosuke. Do you think you’ll be okay until then, or should I stay on the phone while I drive?” Souji grabbed a duffel bag and began to shove the essentials in it. “Do you have anyone else you can talk to?”

“Ted and Naoto are here,” the other replied. “I don’t remember it, but I guess I called him in hysterics the moment I got the call from the hospital. They got here in record time. I just don’t know what to do, Partner. What am I going to do without her?”

“Hand the phone over to Naoto and go talk to Teddie, okay?” Souji instructed, hurrying through his small apartment as he threw things into his back. “Just promise me you won’t be alone.”

Naoto’s voice sounded rough over the receiver after Yosuke finally handed over the phone. “Are you really on your way here?” she asked, voice cracking with worry. “I’ve never seen Yosuke so shaken up, Souji. If he gets any louder, he’s going to wake up the girls. Teddie and I have been trying to console him, but I feel you’d do a better job.” She sighed. “You know how these two brothers can get. Before too long, they’ll both get loud.”

During Yosuke’s senior year of high school, his parents had decided to adopt Teddie, shifting Yosuke into the role of big brother before he could really tell what was happening. For the first few months, Yosuke seemed to complain about the bear more than he ever had before, but one day it all just stopped and he started to genuinely care for his adopted younger brother. Souji had been convinced that it was due to Ami, Yosuke’s wife, who had been his girlfriend at the time.

Souji rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I remember,” he sighed. “I’m finishing up packing and then I’m hopping into my car. I should be there by dawn. Do you think you can keep them quiet until then?”

“I can damn well try,” she sighed. Her voice sounded as if she wanted to join in on the symphony of sobs in the background. “Please hurry here,” she choked out, “but also remember to drive safely.”

“Got it,” he replied with a nod, though he knew she couldn’t see him. “I’ll be there before you know it.”

.

Naoto Shirogane glanced across the living room to where Yosuke had finally cried himself to sleep on the couch. She herself was sitting on Teddie’s lap where he slept in an armchair, absently running her fingers through his golden hair. Her eyes went to the window, where she could see the first rays of morning light spreading across the sky. She snuggled into Teddie, feeling his arms wrap around her, closing her eyes.

A soft knock on the front door caused her eyes to snap open. That had to be Souji! She slowly released herself from Teddie’s arms and made her way to the front door. “Souji,” she breathed upon opening it. Her eyes took in the disheveled man before her. He really had jumped out of bed and come here! She noted that he was still in his cat-themed pajamas and that there was stubble on his chin.

Souji dropped his bag and immediately enveloped her into a tight hug that she didn’t realize she needed up until that moment. “I’m sorry I took so long,” he softly told her as she cried into his shoulder. “I’m sorry that you had to be the strong one for so long, Naoto. It’s okay now. Let it out. Cry all that you need to. I’m here now.”

And with his blessing, Naoto cried until she had no tears left.


	2. Chapter 1

Shiori Hanamura woke before her alarm, yawning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Still a little groggy, she went to the bathroom to freshen up a bit and splash water on her face. After drying her face with her towel, she examined herself in the mirror. She had often been told that she looked exactly like a younger version of her mother with her dark eyes and raven hair. It made her happy to know that she looked like her mother, because Ami Hanamura was one of the most beautiful and elegant woman she’d ever known.

She decided to go to the kitchen to start on breakfast for her and Fumiko. Her dad was usually at work by the time they woke up, so she usually made toast for her and her sister before they got ready for school and left together. Ever since her mother was put in the hospital a month ago, Shiori had to step up and become more responsible. It wasn’t as if she minded it, but sometimes she wished that she didn’t have to worry about her little sister on some mornings.

Upon reaching the living room, she sighed, rolling her eyes. Her father was usually asleep on the couch after her mother was hospitalized, but she wasn’t expecting to see her uncle and his girlfriend asleep in the adjacent arm chair. Granted, Uncle Ted came over to see them a lot, but Naoto wasn’t usually with him. It made her wonder what the occasion was for her to be there as well.

Shiori could hear someone moving around in the kitchen along with the soft clink of dishes being set down on the table. She cautiously poked her head around the doorframe of the kitchen. “H-Hello?” she softly asked, seeing that the person in there was a man. Her heartbeat accelerated as she tried to figure out who this man was, but when he turned around and she saw that silvery head of hair, she couldn’t help but run to him. “Uncle Souji!”

Souji swept the young girl into a hug, smiling. “Look at you, Shiori,” he mused, squeezing her. “You’ve grown up so much since the last time I saw you.” He held her at arms length with his hands on her shoulders as he looked her up and down. “You got taller, didn’t you?” His heart pulled a little as he realized she looked more and more like her mother as she grew. “You’re, what, ten now? Has it really been a whole year since the last time I saw you?”

“More than a year,” she corrected with a smile. “Last time you saw me, I was eight.” If there was one thing Shiori loved, it was her Uncle Souji’s unexpected and completely random visits. Throughout her childhood, she would randomly come home to find him sitting in the living room reading or cleaning or sometimes even cooking. She never knew when to expect him, but maybe that helped contribute to the magic of his visits. “But you’re right, I am ten now,” she proudly stated, making an attempt to stand up taller.

“Where does the time go?” he mused, smiling. “Next thing I know, I’m going to be at your wedding and feeling much older than I already do.” Souji nodded toward the table. “But tell me something, Shiori. Are pancakes still your favorite food? Because there’s a plate on the table just for you if so.”

Her eyes lit up as she giggled. “You’re the best, Uncle Souji!” She quickly moved to the table and sat down. “I can’t believe you made pancakes just for me!” Shiori eyed the much-smaller serving on a smaller plate next to her and her smile widened. “You even made some for Fumi?”

“Of course I did,” he replied, sitting beside her at the table with his fourth mug of coffee that morning. He needed the caffeine to stay awake until the girls were already at school. Naoto had specifically instructed him to send them off to school so that Yosuke could have time to figure out a way to give them the news when they got home. “Then again, I don’t know if she likes them as much as you do. I made them because they’re your favorite, after all.”

Shiori beamed with pride. That was what she liked about her Uncle Souji. They had always been close, and he paid attention to her likes and dislikes. She had worried when Fumiko was born that he would pay less attention to her whenever he visited, but if anything he paid more attention to her as her parents had fussed over the new baby. Though she would never admit it aloud, she liked Uncle Souji more than her actual uncle. But if Teddie ever found out she knew it would break his heart, so she kept it to herself.

“Uncle Souji, will you still be here when I get home from school?” she quietly asked after finishing her pancakes. Due to the spontaneity of his visits, sometimes he was only at their house for a few hours, much to her dismay.

“Yup,” he assured her, reaching out and ruffling her hair. “I’ll probably be here for a few days, Shiori. Don’t worry, I promise I won’t leave while you’re gone.” He then rose from the table. “But I do have to go and wake your sister. I’ll be right back.”

Shiori smiled as she took a bite of her pancake. It was soft and fluffy, just the way she liked it. She had missed morning of eating pancakes with Uncle Souji, even when her dad would harp at him for spoiling her too much. Though her father was fair and gave her and her sister equal amounts of attention, her mother seemed to favor Fumiko, which made her appreciate Souji even more.

Before too long, Souji returned to the kitchen with a sleepy Fumiko. He picked her up and sat her down in front of her plate of pancakes as she began waking up a little more. Shiori had to fight back the small giggle fit that threatened to escape her lips upon seeing the way her sister’s hair was sticking up in the back. Fumiko’s hair always stuck up in the back upon waking, much like their father, whose looks she favored.

“Fumi-chan, we’re going to have to do something about that hair of yours,” Souji sighed, trying to gently pat it down. Knowing the child couldn’t see his face, he couldn’t help but smile with silent laughter. She reminded him so much of Yosuke that he just couldn’t help it. With his free hand, he put a finger to his lips as he looked over at Shiori who looked as if she’d start laughing at any given moment. “We’ll get to it after you eat, though. I made pancakes. Do you like those?”

The five-year-old poked at the pancakes with her fork for a moment before stabbing it and tearing off a piece to taste. Her eyes lit up as she looked up at Souji. “Yummy!” she enthused. “You made these, Uncle Sou?!”

Shiori quickly finished her pancakes and excused herself from the table to get ready for school. She didn’t want to see her sister bonding with him. Instead, she decided to think of fun things she and her uncle could do when she got home. If he really was going to be here for a few days, there had to be countless things that they could do together! Her head filled with plans, she finished preparing for school and was soon on her way, making sure to walk Fumiko to her school on her way.

.

An unfamiliar boy stood at the front of Shiori’s classroom and wrote his name on the blackboard. Touma Sanada. When he introduced himself before class started, he told them that he was from the city but moved to Inaba with his mother over the weekend. He bowed and had an air of confidence about him as he made his way to the empty desk beside Shiori. But as she got a closer look at him, she couldn’t help but notice how wet his eyes looked, as if he would start crying at any moment. If he had moved here with his mom, then what had happened to his dad?

At the break, Touma’s desk was swarmed with curious classmates. They fired off question after question to the poor boy, who looked just about beside himself. It annoyed Shiori that people would keep bothering someone who seemed so uncomfortable. Didn’t anyone have any manners?

“Get away from my desk,” she finally growled to her classmates.

Maki Hamawara, girl with long, black braids, turned to her and glared. “We’re not here to talk to you. We’re talking to Sanada-kun. Mind your own business, Hana-chan.”

“You’re making us both uncomfortable,” Shiori stated through clenched teeth. “Go away before you make me mad.” Though she seemed sweet and calm to most people, Shiori couldn’t deny the fact that she most definitely had a temper when annoyed. Her mother always joked with her that she got it from her father, to which he would gasp in mock offense and claim to be a saint, making everyone present laugh. “I don’t want any of you over here.”

“We’ll talk more later, Sanada-kun,” Maki told him before turning to Shiori. She used her index finger to pull down one eyelid from underneath and stick her tongue out at her, causing Shiori to roll her eyes. “Somebody is being too rude right now.”

“Bye,” the other girl replied with a wave of her hand. “Be careful not to trip on your way back to your desk.” Shiori opened the book she had previously been reading and turned her attention back to it.

“You didn’t have to be so mean about it,” Touma told her in a quiet voice, blushing at his desk. “But thank you. I appreciate it.” His fists were clenched in his lap when Shiori looked up at him. He brought a hand up to move his dirty-blond hair out of his gray eyes, refusing to look at anything but his desk. “I’m not the best with meeting new people,” he admitted, “so you chasing them off made me happy.”

“I won’t let them bother you, Sanada-kun,” she replied, marking her place in her book and closing it. “You’re a kid like the rest of us, not some new toy they discovered. I’m Shiori Hanamura, by the way. Most people in class call me ‘Hana-chan’, so you can call me that too, if you want.”

“Hana-chan,” he said, sounding it out. “It suits you.”

Shiori puffed her cheeks out at his words. “What makes you say that?”

“Nothing,” Touma quickly replied, giggling. “Ignore that.”

The corners of her mouth pulled into a smile. This new kid wasn’t so bad. She was glad that he wasn’t annoying like the other kids in their class. Grateful for a new companion, she opened her book back up and began reading once more. She couldn’t wait to get home and tell her dad and Uncle Souji all about the new friend she made.


	3. Chapter 2

“I have no idea how I’m going to tell them,” Yosuke Hanamura sighed, words tight in his throat. He felt as if he would choke on the next word he would speak. “How do I tell my daughters that their mother is…” If he didn’t finish his sentence, could that make it so it wasn’t true? If words could bring Ami back, then which ones would be the correct words to use?

Souji Seta walked over to where his friend was practically creating a rut in the carpet with all of his pacing. He laid a gentle hand on the other’s shoulder as a means to comfort him. “You don’t have to figure all of that out yourself, Yosuke,” he assured him. “We’re here to back you up on this. You’re not alone.” His hand grandly gestured toward Naoto, who was dejectedly sitting on Teddie’s lap and leaning her head onto his shoulder. “We will help you through this.”

Yosuke crouched onto the floor, holding his head in his hands. “How the hell am I supposed to raise two girls by myself? I don’t know the first thing about girls! Ami was the one who helped them with everything feminine. How am I supposed to learn all of those things and still have time to be a good dad? It’s hopeless…”

“I wouldn’t say that it’s hopeless,” his best friend replied, crouching in front of him. Slowly, he reached out and grabbed Yosuke’s hands, removing them from his head. He held them both with great care as he spoke in a gentle voice. “You’re not alone, Yosuke. There are many people who will be glad to help you in a heartbeat. You have a woman right over there on your couch who loves Shio and Fumi. She’ll help with them any time you need her to. We both know that. They also have an amazing uncle on that same couch who will whisk them away on his days off whenever you feel you need a break.” His mouth formed into a small smile as his friend looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. “And let’s not forget that you have a friend who will be here for you as long as you need him. I won’t go anywhere until I know you’ll be okay.”

Naoto pulled herself to her feet and walked over to her two crouched friends, joining them at their level. “It’s like Souji said,” she began, “I’ll help you with the girls whenever you need me, and I know that Teddie will do the same. We love them, and we love you, Yosuke. Don’t shoulder everything on your own. Let us help you in any way that we can.”

“But I can’t depend on you guys for everything,” Yosuke groaned. “We’re all adults, for fuck’s sake. We all have our own lives and our own paths, and there’s no way I can derail you just because I got knocked down.” He sighed and stared at the floor. “Don’t trouble yourselves with me.”

Teddie had enough and rose to his feet with an indignant huff. He stormed over to his brother and pushed past Souji to push Yosuke down. His hands balled into fists as he stood over his now-cowering brother, fighting back tears. “Shut the fuck up!” he shouted. “Just shut up, Yosuke! Stop acting like this doesn’t concern anyone but you! She wasn’t just your wife! She was my sister! You’re my brother, and if you don’t think I’ll put things on the back burner for you, then how could you ever call us family?!” The tears he had been doing his best to hold back spilled down his cheeks as he fell to his knees and pulled Yosuke into a hug. “How could you even think that I wouldn’t stay by your side through all of this?” he weakly asked. “What kind of a brother would I be if I made you go through this alone? Though I don’t say it as much as I probably should, I love you, Yosuke. And I love Ami and Shio-chan and Fumi-chan. Let me help you…”

For a moment, the older Hanamura brother just sat there in shock before hugging Teddie back with the same intensity. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed. He repeated those words over and over between shuddering breaths as they cried it out together.

As the two calmed each other down, Souji looked over to Naoto, who was quietly sniffling and doing her best to hide it. He quietly cleared his throat to get her attention and handed her his handkerchief. She gave him a grateful smile as she accepted it.

Though he knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way, Souji couldn’t help but feel left out. He wished that he had come around more often and connected better with Ami. Maybe if he had, then he wouldn’t feel so awkward about not being as torn up as everyone else. Instead, he was left feeling a deep sorrow, but nothing nearly as devastating in comparison to his friends.

.

Shiori sat next to Fumiko on the living room couch as their father knelt on the floor in front of them, holding their hands in his, all mushed together like a Hanamura-hand-pile of some sort. She felt uncomfortable, and wanted to take her hands back, but with the way her father’s hands were trembling, she wouldn’t dare to. Her dark eyes shifted toward the floor as she waited for him to speak to them, wishing that he hadn’t asked her uncles and Naoto to leave the room while he spoke to them. She felt as if she were in trouble and couldn’t bear the gnawing feeling in her heart that it was something else entirely.

“Daddy?” Fumiko asked, blinking her large brown eyes at Yosuke. “Are you okay? Do you hurt?” She cocked her head to the side in curiosity. “Are you sick?”

Yosuke’s voice shook as he forced a smile to his younger daughter and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “No, Fumi…” he softly said. He pulled back and cleared his throat before taking a deep breath. “I got a call last night after you both went to bed,” he began.

The older girl’s eyes widened as they filled with tears. She already knew what he was going to say, and she didn’t want it to be true. “No, Dad!” she begged. “You’re lying! Tell me you’re lying!” Her heart slammed in her chest, threatening to break free at any minute. “Mom’s fine! She’s going to come home soon!”

“Shiori…” he softly said, letting go of their hands to pull his hysterical older daughter into a hug. “We all wanted that, but I guess Heaven had other plans…”

“No!” she screamed, pushing him away. “I don’t believe you! Mom was getting better!” Her cheeks were wet with tears. “Mom’s not dead! She’s still at the hospital! Don’t lie to me like this!” Shiori jumped up and bolted out the front door.

“Shio!” Yosuke called, jumping to his feet. A small sob stopped him dead in his tracks as he looked down at Fumiko’s sobbing form. “Fumi…” His heart ached for the girls, though it wasn’t easy for him either. He scooped the five-year-old into his arms as she sobbed and carried her to the kitchen, where he found Teddie solemnly sitting at the table while Naoto sat on the counter, chewing her lip. “Where’s Souji?”

Naoto hopped off the counter and walked over to Yosuke, holding out her arms to take Fumiko from him. “He went after Shiori. I think he’s going to need your help. Teddie and I can take care of Fumi-chan. Though they’re both needing you, I think Shiori needs you the most at the moment.” She grabbed Fumiko, who tried to put up a fight over being taken from Yosuke, but when she realized that it was Naoto, she buried her face in the woman’s shoulder and continued sobbing. Naoto nodded toward the front door. “Go.”

.

“Shio-chan!” Souji called, running down the street after the adrenaline-infused child. Though he knew she would exhaust herself within minutes, he still struggled to keep up with her. She was faster than any Shadow he had faced. It also didn’t help that he wasn’t getting any younger with each passing day. “Shiori Hanamura!”

The girl stopped dead in her tracks after hearing Souji use her full name. She fell to her knees and covered her face as she finally let her tears flow, sobs shaking her small body. Her heart felt so heavy and her body hurt to the point that she was certain she would vomit at any moment. No matter how badly she wanted to, Shiori couldn’t make herself calm down. She wanted to scream and cry and curse and throw a tantrum like the ones Fumiko used to throw when she was much smaller. How could she be expected to act like a presentable young girl when her world was falling apart? It didn’t seem fair!

Souji heard footsteps running up from behind him and turned to see Yosuke gaining on both of them. He leaped out of his best friend’s way and watched as Yosuke lost his momentum and knelt down next to his daughter. Not wanting to intrude on a personal family moment, he remained where he was, on standby in case his friend needed him for anything. Knowing that Yosuke was able to find them due to Souji being easy to pick out in a crowd was enough for him to know that he did his part in this.

“Shiori,” Yosuke sighed, crouching next to his daughter. “Being hit with news like this is never good. It’s hard to take in.” He reached out and pulled the sobbing girl into a comforting embrace, letting her cry on his shoulder all that she needed. “I promise you that I’ll be with you every step of the way through this. I won’t leave your side, Shio. You can depend on me for anything from now on.”

His hold on her tightened as tears welled up in his eyes. “When you bolted, I didn’t know what to do,” he admitted, squeezing her in his arms. “You were hurting so badly- you still are- and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t make it go away. Your heart is broken after losing your mother, just like mine, and I’m frustrated because there’s nothing that I can do to fix it.” A tear trailed down his cheek. “I’m just as scared as you are, Shiori. A life without your mom terrifies me.” Yosuke pulled away so he could look her in the eye. “But I will be strong for you and Fumi. It will be hard at first, but I will do everything I can to help you.”

Shiori’s face contorted in distress as she attempted to hold back the new onslaught of tears that threatened to escape. Knowing that she couldn’t hold it back forever, she threw her arms around her father’s neck and sobbed, holding on to him as if he would disappear from her life as well should she dare to let go. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry!”

Yosuke, scooped her up into his arms as he stood, nodding to Souji. He placed a gentle kiss to the side of her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Shio. Let’s go home.”


	4. Chapter 3

“I can’t do this, I really can’t,” Yosuke sighed in panic. “Partner, I can’t be a parent on my own. These are two little girls we’re talking about. They deserve kindness and understanding. My daughters deserve the world, and yet they’re stuck with someone like me…” He held his head in his hands as he sat next to Souji on the couch, his friend patting his back with sympathy. “I don’t want to leave it up to Ted and Naoto to raise them part-time. They’ve got their own lives, and besides, Naoto’s currently sick. What am I going to do, Souji?”

Souji raked a hand through his silvery hair as he thought. “I do agree that some time without the girls will do you some good,” he softly said. “Perhaps we can find somewhere for them to stay until the funeral, and then you can all let go and come home together?”

“Who would I ask to take them, huh?” the father pathetically asked. “My parents are off on business and there’s no way I’d ask something like that of Yukiko. She has the inn to manage. And Rise and Kanji are on tour. I’d ask Chie, but she’s all the way in Iwatodai. I couldn’t put my girls on a train and send them off alone. They’re too young, and that’s way too scary for me as a parent. God, I’m screwed.”

The other man’s phone chimed with a text, and he quickly reached into his pocket to check. A small smile spread across his face. “You know, I think we might have found our answer,” he said, showing Yosuke the text. “Turns out Chie is back and has a kid Shiori’s age. I’m sure she’d have no problems watching the girls for a day or two.”

Tears of gratitude streamed down Yosuke’s cheeks. “My friends, man….They always come through for me….”

.

The house seemed empty when Yosuke and Souji returned after dropping the girls with Chie the next day. A shiver crawled its way up Yosuke’s spine as he stared at his empty living room. If Ami had been alive and home, she would be playing with Shiori’s hair while watching Fumiko dance around to the music from television ads. They would all turn around and greet him with warm smiles as he was returning from work. Now Yosuke felt chilled to the bone, knowing that those days would never happen again.

Without warning, Yosuke dropped to his knees as tears streamed down his face, showing no signs of stopping anytime soon. His body shook with sobs as Souji sat on the floor next to him. He felt the pressure of Souji rubbing his back in a comforting manner, leaning into the touch as he imagined Ami beside him. Yosuke leaned heavily against the other man, working to calm his sobs as he tried taking deep breaths.

“Take all the time you need, Yosuke,” Souji softly said, rubbing his friend’s back. He looked away from him as he cried, knowing that it was a bit of a personal moment for Yosuke. Instead, he studied the art on the walls, some music posters while others were beautiful paintings done by Ami herself. His heart ached a bit as he thought about how Ami would never paint another canvas again. ‘Gone far too soon,’ he thought to himself.

After about a half hour, Yosuke rose on shaky legs and made his way to the couch before throwing himself on it. “You know what’s something I’ve been wondering ever since she got sick?” he asked, though Souji wasn’t sure if he was addressing him or just talking out loud. “I’d spend late nights wondering why it had to be Ami, of all people, who received this fate. What did someone so wonderful do to deserve this? Sure, she and I would fight sometimes, but it was her philosophy to never let us sleep on our anger. She was the backbone of this family. Now that she’s gone, I don’t know what to do.”

His rambling continued as he sighed and held his head in his hands. “Shio looks just like her, and I don’t know how to feel about that. It’s painful to look at her, and that makes me feel as if I failed as a father. If I can’t even look at my child, then how the hell am I supposed to raise her into the woman Ami would’ve wanted her to be? What am I supposed to do?”

Souji cleared his throat, kneeling in front of Yosuke. “Back when we first met, I was practically raising Nanako in my uncle’s place.” He frowned. “I know it’s not the same, but do you want me to stick around for a bit and help you out? With my experience with Nanako, it might really help you out. I’ve been thinking of taking some time off work anyway. After all, I don’t want to end up like Akihiko.” His mind then went to Chie, who had just divorced his coworker, making a mental note to text her and check in with her later that night. “Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”

“I can’t just ask you to give up your lifestyle for me,” the other groaned. “That’s not fair to you. I know you, Souji. You’re the type of guy who will always put your friends before yourself and your own needs. There’s no way I’d ask you to basically sacrifice yourself while I get my shit together.”

“Don’t talk like that, Yosuke. I offered because I want to help you. I’ve worked every single day for the past two years. Mitsuru is practically begging me to take a vacation.” He patted the couch where Yosuke sat. “I don’t mind sleeping on the couch or even a futon. I just want to make sure that my best friend is going to be okay before I even think about leaving. Hell, I’ll even stay with my uncle if I need to.”

Yosuke sniffed, a small smile on his lips. “You’re always like this. I have no choice but to accept, do I?” He took a deep breath. “Yes, Partner, if possible, I’d like it if you would stick around while I get my shit together. I really want to do this whole parenting thing right, but I don’t really know where to begin when it comes to girls. After all, I was the breadwinner. Ami was the one who would stay with them here after school. I’ll have to change up my schedule a bit, but I want to make it work. I want to be the best father I can be to my girls. They deserve that much.”

Souji smiled. “There’s the Yosuke I know,” he softly said, ruffling his friend’s hair. “But just remember, you’re allowed bad days too. Your world is allowed to crumble around you. You can cry when you need to. But you need to pick yourself back up every time. There are two little girls who will be depending on you, and they’ll always love you even on your worst days. If not for yourself, make sure you live for them.”

“You’re pretty philosophical sometimes,” Yosuke commented.

The silvery-haired man gave a non-committal shrug. “I suppose it just comes with the territory. You should hear the way my coworkers talk. Some of the shit they say sometimes sounds like it came straight out of a fortune cookie.”

For the first time in the last few days, Yosuke found himself laughing. It felt good, and there was no guilt that came along with it. He wondered how long it would be until he could laugh like this again with his kids and feel as if everything was going to be okay. “I needed that,” he said after a moment. 

“Glad I could help.” Souji rose back to his feet. “I’ll get started on dinner prep. What would you like to eat tonight?”

“How about something simple like curry?”

“So your favorite dish?” the other asked, quirking up an eyebrow. “You know, I’m in a curry mood as well. Let’s do that.” He stepped toward the doorway to the kitchen. “If you want to chat, you know where to find me.”

Yosuke scoffed, shaking his head, smile on his face. ‘Typical Souji,’ he thought as he wiped his face off with his sleeve. Taking a moment to breathe, he closes his eyes to center himself the way Ami had taught him during the first year of their marriage. Upon opening his eyes, he felt a peaceful energy enter his heart. “I knew you were still here,” he whispered to the energy in his heart. “It’s good to know you haven’t truly left, Ami.”

With a groan, he lifted himself from the couch to go and bother Souji in the kitchen.

.

“Fantastic as always, Partner,” Yosuke complimented as he dabbed at his mouth with his napkin. He was glad to know that Souji’s curry still tasted as great as it did back in high school, if not better. “I swear, is there anything you can’t do?”

“I can’t tap dance,” Souji honestly answered, thinking about it. “One time, I tried to and I slipped and fell. It was so embarrassing. My coworker Yukari made fun of me for weeks.” He tried to think of more things he wasn’t the best at. “There was another time when Akihiko and I tried playing ice hockey. I nearly broke my leg. It’s best that I just stick with ice skating and leave the brute work to him.”

“Dude, it was a rhetorical question!” the other man laughed. “You didn’t have to give me actual examples, even though they’re kinda funny.” He grinned at Souji, whose cheeks were dusted with a soft, embarrassed blush. “It just seems like you’re actually really good at everything, almost as if you’re superhuman or something.”

“What makes you think I’m not?” his friend joked back.

Yosuke snorted. “I’d believe it,” he assured. “There’s something otherworldly about you. Kinda like how you were able to wield multiple Personas back in high school.”

“I still can, you know,” Souji replied, picking up their empty plates and putting them in the sink. He rolled up his sleeves to wash the dinner dishes. “It’s just that there’s a different method for it outside of the TV, and trust me, it’s not for the faint of heart.” As he thought more about it, perhaps bringing up the Shadow Ops summoning method wasn’t the wisest idea when conversing with a grieving friend. “But I’d rather not talk about work right now. Let’s talk about what the plan will be for the time being.”

“Hey, you cooked. You don’t need to do the dishes. Let me get those,” the other said, standing up from his chair.

“No, it’s okay, I’ve got it.”

“You’re so stubborn. At least let me help. I can’t let a guest do everything for me, you know.” Yosuke squeezed himself between Souji and the wall, fulfilling the role of rinsing and stacking the clean dishes. “Scoot over.”

Souji did as told, giving his friend a bit more room. Something about this felt intimately domestic, causing him to push that line of thinking to the back of his head. “Is that enough room?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” the other replied. He searched his head for a topic of conversation. What could he say to make casual conversation? “So, uh, how’s that one guy? His name escapes me at the moment, but the one you were dating last time I saw you. Are you two still together?”

Chie wasn’t the only one who made her preferences known on graduation day. Souji had also revealed that he wasn’t attracted to women, thus revealing his previously-hidden relationship with Kou Ichijou from the basketball team. Though their relationship had lasted up until halfway through their second year of college, they still remained on good terms. (Yosuke had even seen Kou’s name pop up on Souji’s phone through the past few days.)

After his breakup with Kou, Souji had become somewhat of a serial dater around his college campus, eventually settling down with the man Yosuke had been referring to. If he remembered correctly, Souji had been serious with this guy, even calling Yosuke and talking about proposing a few times, yet Yosuke couldn’t remember what had come of it.

“Keisuke?” Souji asked, raising an eyebrow. “Uh, things didn’t end up working out.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? Last I knew, you two were pretty serious.” He frowned at his best friend. Suddenly realizing how insensitive he sounded, Yosuke’s eyes went wide. “Wait, no! You don’t have to tell me! That has to be a sensitive topic!”

“It’s okay,” the other replied. “You’re my best friend, Yosuke. If I can’t talk to you about it, then who else?” Souji paused for a moment, thinking back. “We broke up about two months ago, actually. I came home a day early from a week-long mission for work, and I found him, in our bed, with a woman he worked with….” He took a deep breath. “It was as if five years together meant nothing to him. I’m not even mad that it was a woman or anything. I think what I’m most upset about was that I thought we had something there that we actually didn’t. To think I was going to propose to him next month. Absolutely ridiculous. I moved out that very day and have been living in the Shadow Ops dorms since.”

“Dude…” Yosuke didn’t really know how to respond to something like that. He thought over his many options in his head and settled on the best one. “Fuck that guy. He obviously didn’t appreciate you enough. You don’t need someone like that.” His mouth stretched into a frown. “Is that why you want to stay here and help me sort everything out?”

“Would you be mad if I said yes?” Souji asked, voice sounding strained.

The other smiled at him. “No,” he simply said. “Instead, I’ll just welcome you into my home for as long as you need. Welcome home, Partner.”


	5. Chapter 5

Later that evening, while Yosuke was in the bath, Souji’s phone began to ring. He looked down at the Caller ID and noticed that it was none other than Kou. His heart leapt into his throat as he checked for Yosuke and picked up. “Hello?” he asked.

“Souji, it’s really you!” came the cheerful reply. Kou’s voice instantly made Souji’s heart flutter. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I’m finally back visiting Inaba and was wondering if it wouldn’t be too much to meet up sometime while I’m here.”

Heart thrumming in his ears, Souji held his breath before answering. “You know I would love to, but I need to look after Yosuke as well. Maybe on a night when things aren’t as bad as they currently are? How long are you in town for?” Having not seen Kou in person since their breakup, he couldn’t help but long to see his ex-boyfriend’s beautiful face once more. Talking to Kou made Souji feel ashamed for breaking up with him because of the distance between them when he went to study overseas, and it made him feel even worse to know that Kou didn’t blame him for it and always remained kind to him, to the point of even comforting him after he ended things with Keisuke.

“Oh, I’ll be here for awhile. I finally finished my doctorate, so I’m taking a break before searching for work. I thought I’d come home and see how everyone’s doing.” Kou laughed. “You know, I’ve been gone for years, and this town still looks exactly the same!”

“Crazy, isn’t it?” the other agreed, unable to keep his stupid grin off his face. Oh, how Souji longed to run to Kou and hold him in his arms. But he knew that wasn’t his place after selfishly breaking up with him. “I think that every time I’m back.”

Kou’s voice took a more serious tone. “How’s Yosuke doing, Sou?” he carefully asked. “I heard about the whole thing with his wife, and I can’t imagine what he must be going through, especially with raising two daughters. How are they all holding up?”

“Yosuke will feel better with time,” Souji calmly replied. “And the girls are doing pretty okay. They’re staying with Chie right now so that Yosuke can have some time to collect himself. Oh, right. Chie’s back in town. She got divorced and moved herself and her son back here. It feels like everyone’s back.”

“Remember that hopeless crush I had on Chie back in high school?” the other laughed. “And to think it was because I was trying to convince myself that I liked girls! Is she still as much of a tomboy as she was in high school?”

“The Queen of Tomboys,” he confirmed, smiling once again. “That’s our Chie for you.”

Yosuke stepped out into the hallway, startling Souji, who stammered out a quick goodbye into the phone before hanging up. “Who was that?” he asked, rubbing his towel over his hair. He was clad in pajama pants and a pair of black slippers. Throwing himself onto the couch, he looked up at Souji with curious eyes.

The silver-haired man took a seat beside him, stupid grin still on his face. “It was Kou, actually,” he admitted, seeing no reason to lie. “He finished studying and came back to Inaba to relax before throwing himself into the workforce.”

The brunet smiled. “I’m glad that he’s back. I hope you two can meet up soon and catch up.”

“I don’t want to see him until I know you’re feeling better,” Souji admitted. “Right now, you’re more important to me than an old flame. After all, we’ve never left each other’s sides, have we? I can’t put you on the back burner after everything we’ve been through just because my boyfriend from high school called, you know?”

“You don’t have to be so serious about it,” Yosuke replied. “But thanks, Souji. That means a lot.” He rested his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes. “Nighttime is the hardest for me. Even though she hasn’t been home in so long, sometimes my heart thinks that we’re going to just tuck in and go to bed together. Stupid, huh?”

“There’s nothing stupid about desiring the normalcy you’re used to.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he hung his head. “Sometimes it’s best to cling to it instead of focusing on the darkness surrounding your heart. Though I know it can’t compare to what you’re going through, when I left Keisuke, there were nights where I would go out and stand in front of our house, tempted to go back inside and tell him how much I missed him. I wanted to go back so many times, even though there was nothing to go back to. Some nights, I considered looking the other way when it came to his cheating, just so that I could fall asleep beside him again.” Souji sighed. “But what good would that do for me?” Looking up at his best friend, he said, “I guess where I’m going with this is that it’s not stupid for you to long for what you had. Ami was special, the mother of your children, the one you devoted yourself to. It’s okay to long for her to come back, even when we know that she won’t.”

Tears welled up in the other man’s eyes as he stared over at Souji. “Thanks, Partner,” he quietly said before leaning over and resting his head on his shoulder, tears beginning to spill. “Do you think it will ever get easier?”

“Only time will tell,” Souji replied, resting his head atop Yosuke’s. “In the meantime, I’m right here by your side, and I won’t go anywhere.” He grabbed his best friend’s hand and squeezed it comfortingly. “Cry all you need to. Let it all out.”

And as he held Souji’s hand, Yosuke did just that, crying until he was exhausted and fell into a dreamless sleep. If he had been paying attention, he would have realized that the other man cried along with him.

.

“What’s going on here?” Souji asked his boyfriend, moving to stand toe-to-toe with him. He gestured to the naked woman in their bed. “Is this what you do when I’m off on business? Are things that bad for you that you have to bring someone home from work to sleep with because you can’t get any while I’m gone?” Though he was absolutely furious, his poker face and calm expression wouldn’t allow him to express it. “It’s like you don’t even care anymore, Keisuke.”

Keisuke stared down at his feet, a bathrobe wrapped around his otherwise naked body. “Do you really think I can handle you being gone all the time? I have needs too, Souji. And who’s to say you’re not doing the same thing with your coworkers, huh?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” he sighed, pushing past him into their bedroom. He opened their dresser drawers and pulled out some of his favorite clothes and a few other keepsakes, stuffing them into his bag before he slung it back over his shoulder. “I hope she makes you happy, because I want nothing to do with you anymore.”

Souji reached into his pocket and pulled out the box that held the ring that he was going to use to propose, shoving it into Keisuke’s hand. “I hope you find someone who will be enough for you someday. Sorry that I wasn’t.”

.

Souji woke up in a cold sweat, bolting upright from his futon on the living room floor. Tears streamed down his face as he looked over at Yosuke, who appeared to be sleeping soundly on the couch. He slowly crawled over to the couch and leaned against it, feeling Yosuke’s warm breath on the back of his neck, the snores of his best friend bringing him a strange comfort.

Turning to look at Yosuke, he smiled and moved the other man’s hair out of his face. “If I had been honest all those years ago, do you think I would have stood a chance?” he whispered. Souji sighed again and turned back around. “No,” he softly answered. “I wouldn’t have. I know that as well as anybody. But God, what I wouldn’t have done for you, Yosuke. I’ve tried to convince myself that your happiness is more important than mine, but my heart broke when you started dating Ami. Yet I still wished you happiness and tried to move on.” He held his head in his hands. “And even after all of these years, I’m still not over you. When Ami died, I hated myself for suddenly realizing that I may have a chance with you. I know you’ll never feel the same, Yosuke, but in my mind I can always pretend…”

.

Yosuke woke up to Souji sitting against the couch, his back to him. He blinked in confusion for a moment before smiling. ‘I must have done something in my sleep to worry him,’ he thought. Slowly he reached out toward his best friend before stopping himself. What was he doing? Why did he have an urge to touch Souji while he was sleeping? That’s just weird. Instead, he slowly sat up and stretched, yawning.

“Maybe I can surprise him with breakfast or something,” he muttered to himself as he padded toward the kitchen. “Here’s hoping I don’t burn anything.”

Sure enough, he managed to burn the toast, which woke Souji, who came barreling into the kitchen. He quickly relieved Yosuke from his breakfast duties and made breakfast instead. Yet somehow Yosuke wasn’t offended. Instead, he couldn’t help but think that this was the way it should be.


End file.
